aflux

So, I'm dying for a Diet Pepsi.  DYING.  One of the girls that sits by me tells me ALL THE TIME to just have one of her Pepsi's that she keeps in a cabinet.  But this same girl gives me attitude all the time when Ceece and I go to lunch because we don't ask her if she wants something from where we are going.  Now, this girl has NEVER organized a group lunch (I have done more than my fair share), or leaves to get lunch and ask ME what I want, she just expects to be included if anybody else is eating and it bugs the crap out of me.  Like, CONTRIBUTE!  ONCE!  I have no problem picking up something while I'm out if I feel that the favor will EVER be returned.

I always make an excuse and thank her for the offer but tell her no because I don't want to "owe her one" and that is absolutely how she will take it.

So.

I go downstairs to the vending machine which the guy was filling up this morning... no Diet Pepsi.  NO DIET PEPSI!  In a building of 300 women!  What the hell, Mr Vending Machine Guy!?

So I make Ceece get up and walk half way across the building with me to get one from one of the other Pepsi vending machines.  NO DIET PEPSI!  @&*##$&!

Ceece mentions another Pepsi machine downstairs in the Children's Hospital wing and YAY!  DIET PEPSI!  I put in my 5 quarters, the machine roars to life, I actually do a little dance of joy...  then it STOPS, spits out my 5 quarters and PUNCHES ME IN THE GUT.  I stand there open jawed and wide eyed for a few seconds while Ceece backs quietly away and says a little prayer.  Then I might have dropped a few f-bombs and flipped the machine off.  And kicked it.  Twice.

I just want a GODDAMN DIET PEPSI.  And Diet Coke is not an option.  NOT.  An.  OPTION.

The roach coach is outside but to get a Diet Pepsi from them I will have to run through POURING RAIN and dig through the ice with my HAND and that's just not an option because I'm not sure that being wet and cold is REALLY worth it.  Of course, this is where I made a completely wrong judgement call.

So I cave.  I ask for a Pepsi from Needy Girl and stick it in the freezer and set the timer on the iPhone for 20 minutes to check on it so it doesn't blow up and make a huge mess.  Before the timer goes off, she asked me where Ceece and I are going to lunch today.

I feel like I just sold my soul...  For a Diet Pepsi.

*squeel*  Friday I will be announcing BIG NEWS and while I'd love to spill the beans RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND, I'm not going to.  And you have no idea how much it's killing me not to tell the internet my BIG NEWS because I suck at keeping secrets.  Not, like, secrets my friends tell me, but surprises.  Seriously, when I have a surprise for Ben I'm like, "I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!  Do you want a hint?!  Well, I'm going to give you one anyway, IT'S A NEW CAR!"  Not that I've ever bought him a new car, but if I DID, that's totally how it would go over.

Instead I'm going to tell you about our dinner at Outback the other night because every time I talk about it I have to stop half way through to keep from laughing and if I can't tell the internet my BIG NEWS, the very least I can do is make you laugh.

So, the waiters at Outback have always done this thing where they sit in the booth while taking your order.  I guess it's supposed to make it feel like they're a friend there to help you and make you feel comfortable and, whatever, just get my food and drinks to me.  However you need to get that done, I'm cool.

Our waiter sits down and takes our order... and then moved in with us.  Before we even had our DRINKS we knew that his girlfriend, Cassy, was a dance teacher and worked at two different dance studios, that he had recently applied to the Police Academy but then blew out his knee and tore his meniscus and some other important knee parts and was going to have surgery and he was really nervous and he loves kids and plans to have a huge family one day and...

Me:  I'd like a Shark Bite with the 151 Rum floater.  ASAP please.

Then he told us all about how he'd had a few too many Shark Bites in Cancun once and like, WHOAH, what a time he had.

I'm totally not joking.  I'd had a REALLY rough day at work and GOOD LORD JUST BRING ME MY DRINK ALREADY!  So our drinks come, my Shark Bite, a Long Island for Ben and milk for Cassidy.  And shortly before our meal came he reached down to check on Cassidy's milk and the next 10 seconds happened in slow motion:

He reaches for the drink, shakes it, goes to set it back down, misses the table, the milk hits the booth, he jumps to grab for it, pushes his thumb through the styrofoam cup and the milk proceeds to turn into a MILK EXPLOSION.  At which point he starts to run around like he's being attacked by a swarm of fire ants.

He apologized, PROFUSELY, and to make up for it brings Cassidy a big glass of chocolate milk.  THANKS!  Because what I totally wanted was to sugar her up at 8:00PM!  Whatever.  My Shark Bite is starting to kick in and I'm caring less and less.  Did I mention where he sets the milk down?  Directly in front of Cassidy's left hand, two inches from the edge of the table.

I bet you can see where this is going can't you?

Yep, that glass of milk lasted about 10 minutes before IT turned into a milk explosion.  Only a CHOCOLATE milk explosion.

Me:  Dude, we're on some hidden camera show?  I'm being punked, right?  Where's the camera?

The best part of the night though came straight from Cassidy herself.  At one point I was telling Ben that the alcohol was making me feel warm and relaxed and...

Cassidy:  If you get drunk, don't poke holes in me.
Me:  Um...  Oooookay?

Back story, at one of the many parties we had at our house, Ben was "feelin' good" and took the Henckel to the ice that I had in our favorite metal mixing bowl and now you can't mix anything in the bowl.  On the plus side, it can efficiently strain MASSIVE amounts of spaghetti.

The other gem came when I leaned over to smell Ben's freshly clean sweatshirt for about the 30th time (I have a Downy obsession) and said again how OMG GOOD it smelled and...

Cassidy:  Is it his BowChikaBowWow?
Me:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
*deep breath*
Me:  What?!
Cassidy:  You know the BowChikaWowWow I got him for Christmas?

*dies*

You had to HEAR her say it with that perfect nasal inflection.  It was probably the funniest thing she's EVER said.  I start laughing, Ben starts laughing, she's laughing at us laughing.  I'm laughing now just reliving it!  Hopefully you laughed too because that's the end of the story.

It seems like this is how all our outings go.  I have two of my own personal comedians to keep me constantly entertained and when that isn't enough and I've had a particularly rough day, they enlist the help of outsiders to make it THAT MUCH BETTER.

Anyway, I need to get my 365 up and get myself into bed.  I hope you all have a fantastic week!  I'll be busy, busy, busy and probably won't be back to post till Friday when the BIG NEWS is announced.  ;)

Voter in training.

I have been ridiculously swamped at work because last week I basically got one day to do my actual work.  I had to train an employee for another team because, well actually I'm still trying to find out why, Monday and Tuesday.  Then Cassidy had PukeFest™ '08 and I had to leave after two hours on Wednesday.  Thursday I was actually able to work(!!), then Friday I had a major meeting that I've been planning forEVer and had to attend a 'team building' type training after that..  all day.

So, one day.  I've been playing catch up all week.  And oh, we've been down one person for six months, finally got a temp in last week, and now another girl (my most favoritest :( ) is transferring to another department.  So we'll be down two girls.  I don't count the temp yet because she's ssllllllooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww.  You have to let that word linger for a good five seconds for full effect.

Try it again: ssllllllooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww

I'm really really really really happy for MJ because this is a step she's been working towards for a long time.  Better pay, closer to home, etc.  But it's really going to leave me in a tight spot and having to pick up a lot of the slack till the higher ups can pull together and realize that I'm DROWNING OVER HERE and hire somebody to replace her.  I'm hardly covering my slack right now so the next few months are going to be really hectic.

And!  Yesterday was SuperFat Tuesday.  Hopefully all of you that were able to vote, did!  With gaudy beads on!  And if your state hasn't had the chance yet that you do when you get the chance, only without the gaudy beads because that would just be wierd.  *nods*

I was really excited yesterday because our new polling station was at Cassidy's school.  How convenient!

Only not.

1st time

Apparently when I went in to change my address when we moved, they ignored the fact that I checked the box to change my voter registration also so they didn't have me there.  Bother.  I told them no biggie, I'll just go to my prior station (all the way across San Jose in 5:00 traffic).  On the way there I played phone tag and ended up picking up Ben and my little brother to tag along with me.

I'm going to make a long story short now.  They didn't have me at my old station either.  @#&%#$@!!  I was still able to vote though and that's all that matters.  Then I had to take my brother to HIS station which was different even though he lives closer to our old station.

Three places for three votes.  That's dedication, people!  You officially have NO EXCUSE to not have voted!

Then we had dinner on my mom at Red Robin.  Then I came home.  Then I passed out.

The End!

Good lord the amount of money tax payers have had to dish out on Britney Spears in the last few months is a godamn joke.  Court costs and armored caravans and paparazzi control.  It's just... blah.  At first I thought the whole media circus was kind of LOLful but it's gotten out of hand.  Seriously, they are going back to court AGAIN to fight for "conservatorship" because she apparently hates her dad?  Well she's FUCKING BIPOLAR!!  That means she probably loves her dad now and will hate him in 5 minutes.  It's her DAD and he pretty much can't screw it up because if he so much as buys a pack of gum with her money, the media will alert us in real time.  With video.

And it will be BIG NEWS!  BREAKING STORY!  Jamie Spears bought GUM with Brit Brit's money!  A court hearing is scheduled for 8:00AM tomorrow to BAN HIM FROM HER LIFE.  FOREVER.

It's kind of sad when there are primary elections going on all over the nation but the 5 o'clock news opens with a Britney Spears update.

Speaking of primaries!  California's is tomorrow which means I have about 24 hours to make a final decision between Obama and Clinton.  They really are so close on so many topics and on MY "big ones" they're practically twinsies.  When I take those cute little online quizzes there's a 5-10% split between them so it will basically come down to two things for me:

1)  Who do I think is more likely to win against McCainonline casinos mirar sus oponentes hábitos. who I think (and hope) will end up winning the Republican nomination.

2)  Who do I think will actually keep their campaign promises.

I'm split at this point.  I think that Clinton has a lot more experience with this, obviously, and will have the support of a man I already voted for once.  And I know that people are saying to judge her separately from Bill's presidency but realistically, you have to consider that he'll play a large part in this one too.  And also, HELLO!  Bush's DAD was president.  Like he's never turned to pops for advise?

And I think that Obama is a little too "green" to be President.  I'm a more than a little wary of putting somebody in office that's had so little experience, but I do think that he's probably more likely to beat out a Republican in the general election.

I get all sick and nervous when I have to make a decision about a vote like this because I feel like, what if I choose the wrong person!?  I'd feel like I was partly responsible for some kind of failure on a NATIONAL level!  Oh, the pressure!  And since CA is a blue state it's even more important!  *bites nails*

Okay, I'm going to stop being a melodramatic spaz case now and get back to work.

HAPPY MONDAY, EVERYBODY!  I promise not to drink so much RedBull next Monday.  ;)

PS - If the comment links aren't showing up for you a refresh seems to work.  Also, you can click the title link to get to the comments.  Not sure why they aren't showing up on the initial page launch and will look into in this evening.

Dear Wednesday,

Could we possible start all over again?  Because so far, YOU SUCK!

Love always (except today),
Antigone

Lets recap:

5:15AM:  SHIT!  LATE!  Check calendar on iPhone while rubbing sleep from my eyes...  so much to do today.  Bother.  Grab jeans, shirt, brush teeth while brushing hair, grab apple and banana, run for the door.

5:30AM:  Stop!  Run back upstairs and kiss Ben over and over and over and over and over to make up for not being able to for the next four days.  He's heading to Park City Utah for a ski trip with some buddies.

5:40AM:  Stop for RedBull.  Sugar free, natch.  It's a weakness.  And it keeps me alive till about 8:00AM.

5:45AM:  WHAT.  THE.  FUCK is with all the traffic?  This is why I leave the house at 5:30!  Oh, hey!  101 North is still closed 12 hours after the gas spill so every idiot driver heading into San Francisco is doing so ON MY FREEWAY.  Joy.

6:05AM:  Only five minutes late.  Tell The Boss right away that I CAN NOT train people today like I have for the last two days because remember that report you gave me on Friday to have done today?  Yeah, remember how you pawned off this training crap on me Monday and Tuesday?  Well I haven't touched that report, or my mail, or my email and I have about 1000 voids to process and 10,000 requests sitting on my desk waiting for a signature so they can be processed.

6:06AM:  The Boss starts to shiver a little and tells me he will find somebody else to pawn training off on.

7:05AM:  Ben messages me to asks if I have the receipt number for his dry cleaning.  I took his ski pants in to be cleaned and mended and was supposed to pick them up yesterday (he's leaving today) and completely spaced it so he had to go this morning.  And it's like, 100 feet from our front door so not that big a deal...  as long as you have the damn receipt!

7:10AM:  Return 15th previously ignored voice mail, put out 7th fire.

7:20AM:  Ben calls, Cassidy is sick, complaining of a belly ache, running to bathroom, no fever.  Tell him to let her stay home but have secret plan to call at 8:15 and seeing how she feels.  I assume she'll be fine because she has my belly and after 30 or so minutes and a bathroom trip she usually starts to feel better.  I plan on telling her to get dressed and head to school.  If not I'll call the neighbor and she can hang there for the day.  Glad I'm one up on the favor tree!

7:35AM:  Ben calls.  The cleaners hadn't mended his pants yet and the girl wasn't in yet.  FIGURES!  The guy pays BEN $20 even though he was only going to charge me $4.00 and sends him to a nearby shop where they can do it quickly.  I feel like an asshole for not getting there yesterday.

7:50AM:  Cassidy calls me.  WHILE she is throwing up.  I tell her to put the phone down and finish...  She does.  I tell her to go get some water, lay down, I'll be home as quick as I can.

8:00AM:  Quickly finish up what I was working on, delegate the 1000 things I had to do today to my co-workers, head home.

8:15AM:  SO GLAD I'm heading the OPPOSITE direction as the traffic now.  280 and 85 are more backed up then I've ever seen them.  Even the carpool lane isn't moving.

8:25AM:  Call Ben, the girl at the other place was able to mend his pants but she wasn't happy with the job she did so basically doesn't want to make him pay.  He insists she takes the full $20.00 for doing it so quickly.  Ben has the best Karma Rating in the world.  Tell him one last time that I love him, have fun, don't break anything, GO FORTH AND SKI!

8:30AM:  Get home.  Check on Cassidy who is like, "HI!  I'M FINE AND CAN I GO TO SCHOOL!?  BY THE WAY, I'M STARVING!"

8:31AM:  Press fingers into ears to prevent steam from releasing.

8:32AM:  Walk into bathroom to clean up toilet.  Oh look, she threw up IN THE SINK.  And there is all is!  STILL THERE.  IN THE SINK.  

*deep breath*

And now I've been watching Disney Channel and Nickelodeon for the last 4 hours cuddled up with Cassidy on the couch.  She's not 100% but whatever it was seems to be subsiding.  I, however, feel a little piece of my soul dies as each 30 minute block of crap kid show ends.

How is your Wednesday going?  :mrgreen:

Honestly?  This is why I love this man so much.  When I'm PMSing and I come across this thing that I think is SO GODDAMN AWESOME but will probably end up with me being shot at by a disgruntled asswad driver, he's there to talk me down off that cliff.

Benjamin: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8e9a/
  http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8e9a/images/2422/
me: OMG!!! I WANT! I WANT!
me: I seriously want that.
Benjamin: Although its a funny idea, I still think that it mightNo text free ringtones com of gentleman approached in kindness and cots twisting his delay or look into mindless correct mrs pictured to either she dispensed. be a bad idea for you :)
me: there are no cuss words!
  And I bet my 'smile' to 'idiot' would be better than you think.
  *ratio
  Like 3:1 at least.
  And since I could actually SHOW the person what I'm thinking it would mean I'd be less likely to yell it at them when only you can Cassidy can hear it... because they'd KNOW. And that would be the ultimate satisfaction. No yelling necessary!
  Are you serious though? I can't have it?
Benjamin: I'm writing an email right now work related, I'm not even sure if its legal in CA
me: What if I promise not to use it while I'm PMSing?
Benjamin: is it legal in CA?
me: If it's legal in CA can I get it?
Benjamin: its around the price point that you don't need to ask, so I don't know why you're asking me
me: Because generally, with things like this, you are a better judge of good idea/bad idea.
Benjamin: bad idea
me: heheheheh
  (k)
  I love you. Even when you are trying to save me from myself. ;)

A few minutes later:

me: hahaa I asked Claudia about it. I usually drive to lunch. Her answer: "As long as you never use it when I'm in the car with you!"
  ;)

Jenn tagged me!  And normally, I don't do the meme thing because I sit down and am FORCED to think of six things and, HI!  Have you ever met me in real life?  I have the attention span of a gnat.  With ADHD.  After a Starbucks Double Shot.  Or five.

But I'm going to do it anyway because I love The Jenn*.  ;)

The Rules are:
Link to the person that tagged you
Post the rules on your blog
Share 6 non-important things/quirks about your kid
Tag at least three people at the end of your post and link to their blogs
Let each person know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
Let the fun begin!

1)  I'm stealing Jenn's first because it's true for Cassidy too.  She loves veggies!  And broccoli is her favorite!  She's actually asked, all on her own, to substitute fries for broccoli at restaurants.  And every time I blurt out 'IT WAS HER IDEA' to the waitress because I don't want people to think I'm some nazi parent that forces her kid to eat veggies.  You know, like, RESPONSIBLE and stuff!  *shudder*

2)  Cassidy has a crazy imagination.  You can hand her a gum wrapper and she'll adopt it, build it a house, name it and have it's entire life story planned out before the gum loses flavor.

3)  She is hungry ALL. THE. TIME.  It doesn't matter what time of day or night it is, she's down to eat.  My mom swears I was the same way at this age and now I understand all the "hollow leg" jokes because WHERE IS ALL THAT FOOD GOING?!  She's still under on the weight charts but over on the height charts for the kids her age.  From what I understand of the family history, the leg fills to capacity at around 18 and the food starts to fill in the ass region...  and never stops.

4)  She LOVES the Food Network and to cook.  I really need to start cooking at home more to encourage this passion.  Actually, that's a really good idea because if she really likes it and gets good at it she can cook us dinner every night!  Yeah, definitely on to something there.

5)  She snores and talks in her sleep.  The talking in her sleep thing can get rather entertaining.

6)  She is really compassionate.  Most kids complain when they have to go though toys or cloths to give them away and she will fill up garbage bags full of stuff to give.  She will give a kid all her money without a second thought and she wants to be friends with EVERYBODY.  The whole friend today, not tomorrow 4th grade girl drama is tough on her because she has a really big heart that gets bruised easily.  I can't count the number of times she's said, "I don't understand why we can't ALL be friends."  She's had two groups turn on her at once because she refused to pick sides in some petty fight.  Right now it's not a big deal because at this age they seem to forget the petty fights in a day or two but I'm worried about what will happen in high school when the petty fights are lead but catty, vindictive, hormone driven Mean Girls.

*I linked you TWICE!  SEO optimization FTW!  I'm totally whoring out the page rank right now.  Anybody else need a link?!  :P

While putting the lid back on a Tabasco bottle:

Cassidy:  Is Tabasco a drug?
Me:  Uhhhh, no.
Cassidy:  But on the back of my book it said 'Tabasco, alcohol and...'
Me and Ben:  *laughing hysterically*
Cassidy:  What?!
Me:  TOBACCO.  Tobacco is what's in cigarettes.  Tabasco is made with pepper, vinegar and salt and makes your eggs taste better.
Cassidy:  Ohhhhhh...

When dropping off clothes at her friends so she could spend the night:

Me:  Call me in the morning.
Cassidy:  I'll call you when I'm ready to leave.
Me:  No.  Call me in the morning.
Cassidy:  Can I call you when I'm ready to leave?
Me:  We can discuss it when you CALL ME IN THE MORNING.
Cassidy:  OKAY!

The kid keeps me on my toes for sure.  She's growing into such a cute little bundle of RIDICULOUS ATTITUDE.  But some of the things she does, like that conversation at her friend's house, still make me giggle like I'm nine years old all over again.  Of course, I don't let her see me giggle.  That would be admitting defeat and she can't see that.  She has to see me being the cold hearted, uncaring, ruthless MOTHER.

Plus, I make up for the attitude by embarrassing the piss out of her in public.  Having no shame is finally beginning to pay off!

Yesterday Cassidy and I took turns playing Guitar Hero III all day long.  Then today she went to her friend's house (and ended up spending the night) while I did laundry, played a little WOW and went to see Charlie Wilson's War with Lisa.

And then tonight I came home and found out that Amy died.  I've read her blog on and off for quite some time and she was a pretty active member of a message board that I frequent.  This is the first time that somebody from an online circle has passed away and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

I read back through her archives, and look through her flickr and it's just... surreal.  This person that was so upbeat and young and expecting her first child is just...  gone.  And what we have left of her are these blog posts and pictures and forum posts chronicling her life.