8 posts tagged “ben”
*squeel* Friday I will be announcing BIG NEWS and while I'd love to spill the beans RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND, I'm not going to. And you have no idea how much it's killing me not to tell the internet my BIG NEWS because I suck at keeping secrets. Not, like, secrets my friends tell me, but surprises. Seriously, when I have a surprise for Ben I'm like, "I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU! Do you want a hint?! Well, I'm going to give you one anyway, IT'S A NEW CAR!" Not that I've ever bought him a new car, but if I DID, that's totally how it would go over.
Instead I'm going to tell you about our dinner at Outback the other night because every time I talk about it I have to stop half way through to keep from laughing and if I can't tell the internet my BIG NEWS, the very least I can do is make you laugh.
So, the waiters at Outback have always done this thing where they sit in the booth while taking your order. I guess it's supposed to make it feel like they're a friend there to help you and make you feel comfortable and, whatever, just get my food and drinks to me. However you need to get that done, I'm cool.
Our waiter sits down and takes our order... and then moved in with us. Before we even had our DRINKS we knew that his girlfriend, Cassy, was a dance teacher and worked at two different dance studios, that he had recently applied to the Police Academy but then blew out his knee and tore his meniscus and some other important knee parts and was going to have surgery and he was really nervous and he loves kids and plans to have a huge family one day and...
Me: I'd like a Shark Bite with the 151 Rum floater. ASAP please.
Then he told us all about how he'd had a few too many Shark Bites in Cancun once and like, WHOAH, what a time he had.
I'm totally not joking. I'd had a REALLY rough day at work and GOOD LORD JUST BRING ME MY DRINK ALREADY! So our drinks come, my Shark Bite, a Long Island for Ben and milk for Cassidy. And shortly before our meal came he reached down to check on Cassidy's milk and the next 10 seconds happened in slow motion:
He reaches for the drink, shakes it, goes to set it back down, misses the table, the milk hits the booth, he jumps to grab for it, pushes his thumb through the styrofoam cup and the milk proceeds to turn into a MILK EXPLOSION. At which point he starts to run around like he's being attacked by a swarm of fire ants.
He apologized, PROFUSELY, and to make up for it brings Cassidy a big glass of chocolate milk. THANKS! Because what I totally wanted was to sugar her up at 8:00PM! Whatever. My Shark Bite is starting to kick in and I'm caring less and less. Did I mention where he sets the milk down? Directly in front of Cassidy's left hand, two inches from the edge of the table.
I bet you can see where this is going can't you?
Yep, that glass of milk lasted about 10 minutes before IT turned into a milk explosion. Only a CHOCOLATE milk explosion.
Me: Dude, we're on some hidden camera show? I'm being punked, right? Where's the camera?
The best part of the night though came straight from Cassidy herself. At one point I was telling Ben that the alcohol was making me feel warm and relaxed and...
Cassidy: If you get drunk, don't poke holes in me.
Me: Um... Oooookay?
Back story, at one of the many parties we had at our house, Ben was "feelin' good" and took the Henckel to the ice that I had in our favorite metal mixing bowl and now you can't mix anything in the bowl. On the plus side, it can efficiently strain MASSIVE amounts of spaghetti.
The other gem came when I leaned over to smell Ben's freshly clean sweatshirt for about the 30th time (I have a Downy obsession) and said again how OMG GOOD it smelled and...
Cassidy: Is it his BowChikaBowWow?
Me: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
*deep breath*
Me: What?!
Cassidy: You know the BowChikaWowWow I got him for Christmas?
*dies*
You had to HEAR her say it with that perfect nasal inflection. It was probably the funniest thing she's EVER said. I start laughing, Ben starts laughing, she's laughing at us laughing. I'm laughing now just reliving it! Hopefully you laughed too because that's the end of the story.
It seems like this is how all our outings go. I have two of my own personal comedians to keep me constantly entertained and when that isn't enough and I've had a particularly rough day, they enlist the help of outsiders to make it THAT MUCH BETTER.
Anyway, I need to get my 365 up and get myself into bed. I hope you all have a fantastic week! I'll be busy, busy, busy and probably won't be back to post till Friday when the BIG NEWS is announced. ;)
Four years ago today Ben drove to Bakersfield and told me, "Move up with me or we need to move on." So I moved up. And although there have been extremely difficult times along the way, I know without a doubt, that this is where I belong. Where I belonged for a long time BEFORE the move.
I can't believe how much I've grown and changed in that time. When he showed up that day I was extremely depressed but refused to admit it. I was grasping at a very thin string to keep my head just high enough above the water to make the outside world think that I wasn't completely drowning. I really didn't care. I wanted to drown.
I know that Ben knew this. And I know that he knew what I needed was for somebody to slap me across the face and tell me to grow the fuck up already. So in his own, much more eloquent and civilized way, he did that. He had to do it again one weekend recently. Depression is an odd playmate.
I have no doubt that Ben knows me better than I know myself. He also believes in me more that I believe in myself and he combines these two things into a wicked mind game. Wicked good though! Because it startles me sometimes how transparent I am to him and how easily he can manipulate that to my own advantage. Yes, MY advantage. I know. At some point I hope I'm able to help you understand it better but for now try, okay?
Anyway, since we don't have a real anniversary date, I wanted to take this chance to say: Happy Anniversary, Lover. I'm still thankful every day that I have you. I love you for being such a wonderful man, an outstanding father, as patient as the day is long and for making me laugh and smile every single day. (k) :)
My first photo hit Explore today on flickr. The highest it got was #210. I'm excited because I've secretly wished to have something Explore but at the same time I'm perplexed that it's a picture of my FEET! Not flowers, or a cute kid, or a car. My feet! (Although they are my feet in some of my very hot shoes. ;)) It's kind of silent vindication for all of those who have called me vain or narcissistic (my dad used that one and I thanked him for finding a much longer, more sophisticated word to make fun ot me ;)) because it was just a road to better photography people! That's all! ;) Okay, so it was totally me being vain...
So, original plans were to do that Half Dome hike this weekend. A part of me is kinda sad we don't get to do it because I'm sure I'd end up with some amazing shots with the XTi. A bigger part of me is happy that I won't be left on the side of a mountain with an ice ax in my head.
The reason we can't go is because Ben has some stuff that HAS to be done to the track car this weekend or he won't make it to next Friday's track day. So since I already had approved PTO for Friday and Monday off, I've decided to take it anyway. A four day weekend sounds FABULOUS, yes? I got up and took Cassidy to breakfast before school today. Took a long hot shower with nobody knocking on the door to ask a question, or worried that I was going to use all the hot water, and I SO DID! Then I met Ben for a nice long lunch. Picked Cassidy up from school and now I'm blogging before I lay down and take a nice long nap! She's off to the park with the neighborhood posse and a few parents to play some baseball.
I had originally planned to do a power cleaning on the house today but, WHY?! I'm on vacation! That's my montra for the next three days. 'Why? I'm on vacation?' I wonder how many times I can use it till Ben snaps?
And! Because I've had nothing better to write about lately, another conversation!
This one happened when I got home and Ben had left the cell phone bill on my chair. The same day that my site got hacked and I still had a sense of humor! Previously he said that if we were billed extra for all the Twitters being sent to my phone via SMS he'd not be happy. We weren't being charged. But GOOD LORD, did you know that Cingular sends you a log of all the text's? ON PAPER. All 2,356 of them I got last month.
Antigone078: SEE?! I TOLD you the texting wasn't extra... ;)
Ben: can you call the parents of the tree you killed and give them the bad news?
Antigone078: BWAHAHAH! When I get my blog back: TOTALLY GETTING POSTED! ;)
Ben: :)
After Ben explains to me his want need for some 5 gallon fuel tanks to put on the trailer full of 100 octane fuel. Keep in mind these are NOT the EPA regulated one's because those one's "flow to slow"...
Ben: I mean, you've heard me complain about having to pump gas and Laguna Seca because of how slow the pumps go.
Me: MmmHmm. So, if you get pulled over and they get taken away FULL OF FUEL, I don't want to hear you complain.
Ben: PFFT!
Me: What?! That's what you'd say to me!
Ben: Okay, I'm going to get 20 of them.
Me: What?! Why?!
Ben: I'm going to decorate the entire trailer with them.
Me: You're going to wake up one day and see that I've painted your trailer pink.
He clearly ignored me when I said that which lead to...
Ben: Today is Jason's birthday.
Me: Nobody told me!
Ben: I didn't now either!
Me: We didn't get him anything!
Ben: I asked him what he wanted and he said, "Something small." He said something like the mirror I have for the track car so I asked him, "Anything more expensive than that"? So he said, "SURE! Rear control arms!!" So I said, "I gotta go!"
Me: HA! HA! We should totally get him a Chinese bride!
Ben: Okay, I'm getting off the phone now.
Me: You can get them online now!
Him: That's not new, you've been able to do that for awhile.
Me: She can do his laundry for him. It's like the gift that keeps on giving!
Ben: Ooookay, BYE!
Me: Bye!
*click*
Ben and Lisa were chatting and decided that the four of us (Lisa, Stuart, Me, Ben) should all go hike Half Dome. Remember I referenced Half Dome in that one post where I mentioned Ben tried to KILL ME by making me hike up a volcano in Maui. It's titled I am not a hiker. I used hiking Half Dome to reference how he is all Hiking God, and I'm like, a Hiking Pussy. Yeah, THAT Half Dome.
So in three weeks we are going to hike it.
me: Hike half dome in ONE DAY?
*hurts already*
Benjamin: well, I told lisa we'd need at least two weeks to get in shape
that's around 3 weeks out
me: We better start TONIGHT
Benjamin: with emphasis on aerobics and legs
yep
tonight
Me: Okay!
...
me: I might die.
On the hike.
Will you carry my body back to civilization.
Not leave me behind with an ice axe in my head?
Benjamin: Baby, you're going to LOVE the axe
Yep, I'm totally going to DIE. So, this is my official written notice that when I die everything goes to Cassidy. Except the chair in the living room which I leave to Hans Stuck the WOnder Cat™ since he's the only one 'allowed' to sit on it. And the alcohol because she's too young to enjoy it. I leave that to Cameron who is 18 and it's high time he start drinking it in volume.
Speaking of alcohol:
me: It looks nice
And they have an elopement package for small weddings
Lisa: it does, i'd be game for a road trip there too
wedding reconn is MAD FUN
me: HAHAH
Lisa: because everyone's trying to woo you
"come get married at my place so i get bank commission!"
me: Do you get lots of free alcohol? If so, we should TOTALLY do that
Lisa: woo woo woo
LOL
we should ask for a bar tasting
HA
me: hjahah
Lisa: be like "we don't really care what you feed us"
me: "No, we need to tast ALL the alcohol"
Lisa: "but beverages are TRES important"
me: "Does this martini go with my dress?"
Lisa: HAHAHA
...to The Love of my Life. My rock, my hero, my friend, my fiance and He Who Puts Up With All My Shit.
Happy Birthday, Ben. :) (k)
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